• ERMA BOMBECK: The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
  • VLADE DIVAC: We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our brains.
  • HENNY YOUNGMAN: I bet on a great horse yesterday; it took 7 others to beat him.
  • BOB UECKER: I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.
  • PHYLLIS DILLER: Always be nice to your children because they will be the ones who will choose your rest home.
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