We usually do not advertise for any sponsor but we want to make an exception. You are all invited to a special celebration on the grounds of the US Capitol building in Washington, DC on July 4th. Continuing the tradition established by the proud Boys and the Oathkeepers, we have planned activities that you’re sure to enjoy. Just bring your clubs, mace, pepper spray and any other weapon you can acquire for the festivities. The dress code is simple: wear military fatigues, jeans, kevlar vests, and army boots. We also suggest some form of headwear like horns, a toboggan hat or a suitably hostile mask.
Please come prepared with zip ties, tire irons, and handcuffs in case any members of Congress have lingered over the holiday. You never know when you might accidentally happen upon a naive Democrat who still thinks the country is a democracy. (wouldn’t that be a hoot!!!!)
As to signage, we recommend the following: “HANG ___________”(WHOEVER COMES TO MIND–FILL IN THE BLANK); “I DON’T BUY THE BIG LIE” ; “HE’LL TRUMP YOU IN 2024”; “IT’S MY COUNTRY—NOT YOURS” ; “DON’T BE FANCY–JUST KILL NANCY”. But honestly, just feel free to express anything you choose with any language you want–even threatening the “fake president”. A sign judging contest will be held for the sign that inspired the most panic during the event so do your best!!
Other contests will be held during the event like “roll your Congressperson”, “vandalize the building” (extra points for toppling a statue); ” scavenger hunt” (where you will be required to take something of value from a well-known Democrat’s office) ; and “zoom to the moon” where on-site selfie videos of destruction are broadcast to your buddies who couldn’t make the trip (maybe they were in jail, a re-hab program or just too incapacitated to move).
And finally, a big surprise. Our host for the day will be Republican Congressman Andy Clyde for Georgia. We want to recognize Andy’s incredible organization talents for putting this whole show together. He used the January 6th party and thought “we should do this more often”. Andy, of course, won’t be there but he has offered the possibility that he will be available on a super large screen on the front steps of the Capitol to wish us well and to tell us to keep our heads down to avoid follow up arrests. This will serve to improve the aftereffects of the last picnic when over 440 patriots were illegally detained.
So mark your calendars. July 4th. Be there or else!!!
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