Maybe we can try to turn off all the outside noise for a minute and enjoy a bit of Thanksgiving Day humor. Not everyone celebrates the day but we hope those folks can still see the levity it provides. Enjoy!
- WHAT WE’RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT HERE IS A WONDERFUL DAY SET ASIDE ON THE 4th THURSDAY OF NOVEMBER WHEN NO ONE DIETS. I MEAN, HEY, WHY ELSE WOULD THEY CALL IT “THANKSGIVING”? (Erma Bombeck)
- STARTING ARGUMENTS AROUD THE THANKSGIVING DAY TABLE IS A BAD IDEA UNLESS EVERYONE IS DRINKING. THEN IT’S HILARIOUS. (Anonymous)
- FIRST FAMILY FIGHT OF THE SEASON. NO ONE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YAMS AND SWEET POTATOES BUT WE DO KNOW EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG. (Karen Kilgariff)
- IT’S NOT THE FOOD WE EAT BETWEEN THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS THAT ADDS TO THE WAISTLINE; IT’S THE FOOD WE EAT BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING THAT DOES IT. (Darrell Herron)
- I JUST FINISHED CLEANING THE HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING. SO IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR MY FAMILY THEY’LL BE IN THE BACKYARD UNTIL THURSDAY. (Anonymous)
- HERE I AM AT 5 AM IN THE MORNING–STUFFING BREAD CRUMBS UP A DEAD BIRD’S BUTT. (Roseanne Barr)
- QUESTION: WHAT DID THE TURKEY SAY TO THE TURKEY HUNTER? ANSWER: QUACK-QUACK!! (Anonymous)
- WHEN I WAS A KID GROWING UP IN INDIANA WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET A TURKEY A YEAR AHEAD OF TIME AND FEED IT FOR THE FOLLOWING THANKSGIVING. BUT BY THAT THANKSGIVING WE ALL THOUGHT OF IT AS A PET. SO WE ATE THE DOG…NO, JUST KIDDING–WE ATE THE CAT. (David Letterman)
- I SHOT MY FIRST TURKEY THIS YEAR. SURE SCARED EVERYONE IN THE STORE. (Anonymous)
- WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELECTION DAY AND THANKSGIVING DAY? ON THANKSGIVING DAY YOU GET A TURKEY FOR A DAY; ON ELECTION DAY YOU GET A TURKEY FOR FOUR YEARS. (Anonymous)
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