- AT MY AGE “GETTING LUCKY” MEANS COMING INTO A ROOM AND REMEMBERING WHAT I CAME IN THERE FOR.
- OF COURSE I TALK TO MYSELF. I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.
- WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH WHEN YOU’RE JUST GOING TO TRANSFER ME TO SOMEONE I CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYWAY?
- I DON’T HAVE GRAY HAIR. I CALL THEM “WISDOM HIGHLIGHTS”. EVERY YEAR I GET WISER.
- LAST YEAR I JOINED A SUPPORT GROUP FOR PROCRASTINATORS. WE HAVEN’T MET YET.
- WHEN I WAS A CHILD I THOUGHT “NAP TIME” WAS A PUNISHMENT. NOW IT FEELS LIKE A MINI VACATION.
- GONE ARE THE DAYS WHEN GIRLS USED TO COOK LIKE THEIR MOTHERS. NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS.
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