• SHE WAS SO WILD THAT WHEN SHE MADE FRENCH TOAST SHE GOT HER TONGUE CAUGHT IN THE TOASTER. (Rodney Dangerfield)
  • FILING INCOME TAX RETURNS HAS MADE MORE AMERICANS LIARS THAN GOLF. (Will Rogers)
  • EVERY MORNING I LOOK AT FORBES LIST OF THE RICHEST AMERICANS. IF I’M NOT THERE, I GO TO WORK. (Robert Obren)
  • I WILL NOT EAT OYSTERS, I WANT MY FOOD DEAD–NOT SICK, NOT WOUNDED–DEAD. (Woody Allen)
  • YOU HAVE TO BE AN ANTIQUE TO APPRECIATE ONE. (Fay Lange)
  • A GENTLEMAN IS A MAN WHO CAN PLAY AN ACCORDION BUT DOESN’T. (Unknown)
  • OLD AGE IS LIKE FLYING THROUGH A STORM. ONCE YOU’RE ON BOARD THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. (Golda Meir)
  • PART OF THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IS EATING WHATEVER YOU LIKE AND LET THE FOOD FIGHT IT OUT INSIDE. (Mark Twain)
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