• The monthly meeting of the Psychic Society was cancelled due to an unexpected rain storm. (ANONYMOUS)
  • I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. (JOAN RIVERS)
  • I get no respect from my dog. He keeps barking at the front door. He doesn’t want to go out. He wants me to leave. (RODNEY DANGERFIELD)
  • I did my night club act in some very rough clubs. One night a guy wanted to bet me $10 I was dead. I was afraid to bet. (HENNY YOUNGMAN)
  • I don’t deserve this award. But then again I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. (JACK BENNY)
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