Here for your holiday pleasure is a smorgasbord of both fun and thought-provokers. Enjoy.
- CHRISTMAS–THAT SPECIAL TIME OF THE YEAR–WHEN YOUR WHOLE FAMILY GATHERS TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE TO LOOK AT THEIR CELLPHONES. (Jimmy Kimmel)
- NOTHING SAYS HOLIDAYS LIKE A CHEESE LOG. (Ellen DeGeneres)
- THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR RELIGION IS, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON WHY IT’S BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHERS. (Guy Kaiser)
- CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON WHEN YOU BUY THIS YEARS’ TOYS WITH NEXT YEARS’ MONEY. (Unknown)
- ONE THING I LEARNED FROM DANCING IS THAT IF YOU EVER GO CHRISTMAS CAROLLING YOU SHOULD DO IT WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE–AND PREFERABLY IN MID-DECEMBER. (Louis CK)
- I BOUGHT MY BROTHER SOME GIFT WRAP FOR CHRISTMAS. I TOOK IT TO THE GIFT WRAP DEPARTMENT AND TOLD THEM TO WRAP IT BUT IN A DIFFERENT PRINT SO HE WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP UNWRAPPING. (Steven Wright)
- OF COURSE SANTA IS DEAD. YOU FORCE A GUY TO EAT A BILLION COOKIES IN ONE NIGHT–WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? (Jimmy Kimmel)
- I LEFT SANTA SOME GLUTEN-FREE COOKIES AND SOY MILK AND HE PUT A SOLAR PANEL IN MY STOCKING. (Eartman Adam)
- DEAR SANTA, BEFORE I EXPLAIN, HOW MUCH DO YOU ALREADY KNOW? (Unknown)
- THE REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. (George Carlin)
- LET’S ALL BE NAUGHTY AND SAVE SANTA THE TRIP. (Gary Allan)
- I HAVEN’T TAKEN MY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS DOWN YET; THEY LOOK SO NICE ON THE PUMPKIN. (Winston Spear)
- AREN’T WE FORGETTING THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS–YOU KNOW, THE BIRTH OF SANTA? (Bart Simpson)
SOME ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:
- CHRISTMAS WILL BE CELEBRATED IN ALL PUBLIC SCHOOL CLASSROOMS WITH PINE TREES, TINSEL AND REINDEER. BUT THERE MUST BE NO MENTION OF THE MAN WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS BEING CELEBRATED. ONE WONDERS HOW A TEACHER WOULD ANSWER IF A STUDENT ASKED WHY IT’S CALLED CHRISTMAS. (Ronald Reagan)
- PEACE ON EARTH WILL TO STAY WHEN WE LIVE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY. (Helen Steiner Rice)
- THERE HAS BEEN ONLY ONE CHRISTMAS; THE REST ARE ANNIVERSARIES. ((W J Cameron)
- CHRISTMAS, CHILDREN, IS NOT A DATE; IT’S A STATE OF MIND. (Mary Ellen Chase)
- WHEN DID WISHING SOMEONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS BECOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT? (Suzanne Woods Fisher)
- CHRISTMAS IS BASED ON A BEAUTIFUL AND INTENTIONAL PARADOX; THAT THE BIRTH OF THE HOMELESS (no room in the Inn) SHOULD BE CELEBRATED IN EVERY HOME. (G K Chesterton)
- IF CHRISTMAS DOESN’T INVOLVE YOU EMOTIONALLY, CHECK FOR A PULSE. (Unknown)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FAITHFUL READERS. AS THE SONG SAYS, “MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS TURN TO WISHES AND MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE”. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR.
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