For most sports-minded people this is the most exciting time of the year. From the middle of March to the first week of May we have Basketball (March Madness), the Masters Golf tournament, the opening of Major League Baseball season and the Kentucky Derby. What a kick-start to summer!! So we offer for your enjoyment a few snippets from three major sports.
BASKETBALL
- THE TROUBLE WITH REFEREES IS THEY JUST DON’T CARE WHO WINS. (Tom Canterbury)
- WE HAVE A GREAT BUNCH OF OUTSIDE SHOOTERS. UNFORTUNATELY ALL OUR GAMES ARE PLAYED INSIDE. (Abe Lemons)
- I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO SLAM DUNK A BALL FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS…OR FOR THE 38 YEARS PRIOR TO THAT. (Dave Barry)
- NINE OUT OF TEN SCHOOLS ARE CHEATING. THE OTHER ONE IS IN LAST PLACE. (Jerry Tarkanian)
- THE UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY AND UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE ARE IN KENTUCKY WHERE BASKETBALL IS AN OPTIONAL BOX FOR RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION. (Dana O’Neill)
GOLF
- HE HAS A WONDEFUL SHORT GAME. UNFORTUNATELY IT’S OFF THE TEE. (Jimmy Demaret about Bob Hope)
- I’VE HAD A GOOD DAY ON THE COURSE WHEN I DON’T FALL OUT OF THE CART. (Buddy Hackett)
- THE OTHER DAY I BROKE 70. THAT’S A LOT OF CLUBS. (Henny Youngman)
- THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE US GOLF CALLED IT A GAME. AND THE SAME PEOPLE WHO GAVE US BAGPIPES CALLED IT MUSIC. (Unknown)
- IF I WERE YOU I’D LAY OFF GOLF FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND THEN QUIT ENTIRELY. (Jimmy Demaret talking to Johnny Carson)
BASEBALL
- IF YOU GET THREE STRIKES ON YOU EVEN THE BEST LAWYER CAN’T GET YOU OFF. (Bill Veeck)
- BOB GIBSON IS THE LUCKIEST PITCHER EVER SAW. HE ALWAYS PITCHES WHEN THE OTHER TEAM DOESN’T GET ANY RUNS. (Tim McCarver)
- TRYING TO SNEAK A PITCH PAST HANK AARON IS LIKE TRYING TO SNEAK A SUNRISE PAST A ROOSTER. (Joe Adcock)
- THE WAY TO CATCH A KNUCKLEBALL IS TO WAIT UNTIL IT STOPS ROLLING AND PICK IT UP. (Bob Uecker)
- I THINK I THROW THE BALL AS HARD AS ANYONE. IT JUST DOESN’T GET THERE AS FAST. (Eddie Bane)
Here’s hoping everyone has a great sport season with whatever sport you fancy!!!!
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