The current teaching in the Catholic Church is that anyone who divorces his/her spouse and remarries is living in sin by committing adultery. Let’s back up a bit and remember that, in the Old Testament of the Bible, Moses granted bills of divorce because of “the hardness of their hearts”. But when Jesus began his public life he said “what God has joined together let no man put asunder”. So the obvious first question is: were all the people granted a divorce by Moses living in mortal sin if they re-married? There is no mention in the New Testament on how the Moses action reconciles with the words of Jesus. Fast forward to today…does anyone think today’s people have less “hardness in their hearts” than those of Moses day? It seems inappropriate that Moses could grant a “pass’ on the divorce issue for hundreds of years and be wrong? Today–sadly–many marriages end in divorce. There are dozens of reasons for this and we’ve all heard them…adultery, abuse, incompatibility…the list seems endless. But the real tragedy here is that typically only one of the marriage partners has caused the union to break. Almost always there is a reasonably innocent party who simply chose the wrong mate. The question then is: should an innocent victim be denied a happily married existence if he/she finds someone they want to spend the rest of their life with? Put another way, if you found out that your spouse was a serial killer, would it be fair for you to be denied future happiness if the circumstances of a second marriage developed? We get that the Catholic Church views the family as the cornerstone of a society and that long term stable relationships are the foundation blocks of a civilization; but should a person be penalized for the rest of their lives just for choosing the wrong mate the first time around? We suggest that the Church adopt a more practical view of the devastation to the innocent party in a divorce and find a more suitable way to accept the perspective of a wronged marriage partner. Imagine the positive aspects of building a new and loving family the second time, extending the outreach love of the Church and increasing the community of the faithful—all leading to happier lives and eternal redemption. Isn’t that what the Church is all about? And isn’t that goal more “do-able” by accepting honest people who did no wrong the first time around? People grow and learn from their mistakes. We preach forgiveness but seem to fail in this critically important aspect of creating and nurturing the potential for a loving family environment.
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