We know it’s a bit early for Valentine’s Day humor but January is typically a gloomy weather month and we thought everyone could use a little levity. Some of these quotes were posted last year but are being repeated for the folks who may have missed them. If you’re lucky enough to love or to have loved someone you should identify with the messages below. Enjoy…
- I WANTED TO MAKE IT A REALLY SPECIAL VALENTINE’S DAY SO I TIED MY BOYFRIEND UP. AND FOR THREE HOURS I WATCHED WHATEVER I WANTED ON TV. (Tracy Smith)
- LOVE IS LIKE A BACKACHE. IT DOESN’T SHOW UP ON AN X-RAY BUT YOU KNOW IT’S THERE. (George Burns)
- REMEMBER, YOUR VALENTINE’S DAY CARD MEANS YOU CARE TO SEND THE VERY BEST, EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE TOO LAZY TO PUT IT IN YOUR OWN WORDS. (Melanie White)
- A GUY KNOWS HE’S IN LOVE WHEN HE LOSES INTEREST IN HIS CAR FOR A FEW DAYS. (Tim Allen)
- TRUE LOVE IS SINGING KARAOKE “UNDER PRESSURE” AND LETTING THE OTHER PERSON SING THE FEDDY MERCURY PART. (Mindy Kaling)
- I LOVE BEING MARRIED. IT’S SO GREAT TO FIND THAT SPECIAL PERSON YOU WANT TO ANNOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. (Rita Rudner)
- LOVE IS ONLY A DIRTY TRICK PLAYED ON US TO ACHIEVE CONTINUATION OF THE SPECIES. (Somerset Maugham)
- OH, HERE’S AN IDEA. LET’S MAKE PICTURES OF OUR INTERNAL ORGANS AND GIVE THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE WE LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY. (Jimmy Fallon)
- LOVE MEANS NOTHING IN TENNIS BUT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. (unknown)
- IF LOVE IS THE ANSWER, COULD YOU PLEASE RE-PHRASE THE QUESTION. (Lily Tomlin)
- THE TROUBLE WITH SOME WOMEN IS THEY GET ALL EXCITED ABOUT NOTHING AND THEN THEY MARRY HIM. (Cher)
- I WAS NAUSEOUS AND TINGLY ALL OVER. I WAS EITHER IN LOVE OR I HAD SMALLPOX. (Woody Allen)
- MEN WANT THE SAME THING FROM THEIR UNDERWEAR THAT THEY WANT FROM A WOMAN…A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPORT AND A LITTLE BIT OF FREEDOM. (Jerry Seinfeld)
- AN ARCHEOLOGIST IS THE BEST HUSBAND A WOMAN CAN HAVE. THE OLDER SHE GETS THE MORE INTERESTED HE IS IN HER. (Agatha Christie)
- A MAN WHO CORRECTLY GUESSES A WOMAN’S AGE MAY BE SMART BUT HE’S NOT VERY BRIGHT. (Lucille Ball)
- MY WIFE WAS AFRAID OF THE DARK BUT THEN SHE SAW ME NAKED. NOW SHE’S AFRARID OF THE LIGHT. (Rodney Dangerfield)
- WOMEN NEED A REASON TO HAVE SEX; MEN JUST NEED A PLACE. (Billy Crystal)
- THERE’S A PLACE YOU CAN TOUCH THAT WILL DRIVE HER CRAZY–HER HEART. (Melanie Griffith)
- A MAN IN LOVE IS INCOMPLETE UNTIL HE’S MARRIED. THEN HE’S FINISHED. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)
- LOVE IS A ELECTRIC BLANKET WITH SOMEONE ELSE AT THE CONTROLS. (Cathy Carlyle)
Let us be the first to wish all our readers a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!
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