Yes, it’s that time of the year. Every parent and every child knows that feeling when the calendar says it’s time to hit the books. To soften the situation a bit we offer some humor for your enjoyment.
- The teacher was horrified to hear little Jimmy swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my dad” said Jimmy. “Well he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means”. “I do” said Jimmy. “It means the car won’t start.”
- “My math teacher is driving me crazy.” Mother : “Why?” Son: “yesterday she told us 4 + 1 is 5. today she’s telling us that 5 is 3 + 2.”
- In a Catholic School cafeteria, a nun placed a note in front of a pile of apples, “only take one, God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want, God is watching the apples.”
- A father is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math and decides to register him at a Catholic School. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card. He’s getting “A’s” in math. The father is of course pleased but wants to know “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?” “You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into that classroom the first day and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!!”
- The teacher called little Johnny to her desk. She said “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother wrote last year.” “Of course it is” said Johnny, “it’s the same dog”.
- Teacher: “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” Billy: “I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a policeman.” Teacher: “I didn’t know your father was a policeman.” Billy: “He isn’t-he’s a burglar.”
- As a 7th grade biology teacher was explaining the flow of blood in the body, I asked the class the following question: “Why is it that if I would turn upside down, my face turn red because the blood would flow to my head; but, when I stand upright my feet don’t turn red?” I was suddenly confronted with a student who answered: “That’s because you’re feet ain’t empty!!”
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