First, Valentines day quotes…
- I WANTED TO MAKE VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL SO I TIED UP MY BOYFRIEND AND FOR 3 HOURS I WATCHED WHATEVER I WANTED ON TV. (Tracy Smith)
- I DIDN’T FALL FOR YOU, YOU TRIPPED ME. (Jenny Han)
- THE TROUBLE WITH SOME WOMEN IS THEY GET ALL EXCITED ABOUT NOTHING AND THEN THEY MARRY HIM. (Cher)
- LOVE IS ONLY A DIRTY TRICK PLAYED ON US TO ACHIEVE CONTINUATION OF THE SPECIES. (Somerset Maugham)
- LOVE IS AN EXPLODING CIGAR WILLINGLY SMOKED. (Lynda Barry)
- AN ARCHEOLOGIST IS THE BEST HUSBAND A WOMAN CAN HAVE; THE OLDER SHE GETS THE MORE INTERESTED HE IS IN HER. (Agatha Christie)
- MY FRIENDS TELL ME I HAVE AN INTIMACY PROBLEM BUT THEY DON’T REALLY KNOW ME. (Jerry Seinfeld)
- MARRY A MAN YOUR OWN AGE. AS YOUR BEAUTY FADES SO WILL HIS EYESIGHT. (Phyllis Diller)
- I WAS MARRIED BY A JUDGE. I SHOULD’VE ASKED FOR A JURY. (Groucho Marx)
- YOU MARRY THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS LADIES BUT 14 YEARS LATER WHAT YOU HAVE IS A COUCH THAT BURPS. (Roseanne Barr)
- MY WIFE WAS AFRAID OF THE DARK. THEN SHE SAW ME NAKED. NOW SHE’S AFRAID OF THE LIGHT. (Rodney Dangerfield)
NOW FOR A BIT OF PRESIDENTIAL WISDOM…
- BEING PRESIDENT IS A LOT LIKE RUNNING A CEMETERY. YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE UNDER YOU BUT NO ONE’S LISTENING. (Bill Clinton)
- I’M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE DEFICIT. IT’S BIG ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF ITSELF. (Ronald Reagan)
- MY ESTEEM IN THIS COUNTRY HAS GONE UP SUBSTANTIALLY. IT IS VERY NICE TO SEE THAT NOW WHEN PEOPLE WAVE AT ME THEY USE ALL THEIR FINGERS. (Jimmy Carter)
- BETTER TO REMAIN SILENT AND THOUGHT A FOOL THAN TO SPEAK AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT. (Abraham Lincoln)
- IF I WALKED ACROSS THE TOP OF THE POTOMAC RIVER ON THE WAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE THE PRESS WOULD REPORT THAT THE PRESIDENT CAN’T SWIM. (Lyndon Baines Johnson)
- RECESSION IS WHEN YOUR NEIGHBOR LOSES HIS JOB. DEPRESSION IS WHEN YOU LOSE YOURS. AND RECOVERY IS WHEN JIMMY CARTER LOSES HIS. Ronald Reagan)
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