Occasionally a personality comes along that breaks the mold for their profession. Judy Tenuta (1956-2022) who just recently left us is just such a person. Her humor was caustic and even sometimes vicious. She thrived on bold and earthy comments. To gauge her status, she won the American Comedy Award in 1988 as best female comedian when Jerry Seinfeld won the male award. She billed herself in a self-criticizing way as the “love goddess”. Here are some of her quips…
- MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME I WOULDN’T AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. I SAID “JUST WAIT”.
- I GOT AN “A” IN PHILOSOPHY BECAUSE I PROVED THAT MY PROFESSOR DIDN’T EXIST.
- I TURNED DOWN A DATE ONCE BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE A LITTLE CLOSER TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN.
- THIS GUY SAYS “I’M PERFECT FOR YOU BECAUSE I’M A CROSS BETWEEN A MACHO MAN AND A SENSITIVE MAN”. I SAID “OH GREAT–SO YOU’RE A GAY TRUCKER!!”
- I’M HALF ITALIAN AND HALF POLISH SO I’M ALWAYS PUTTING A HIT OUT ON MYSELF.
- MY BOYFRIEND USED TO ASK HIS MOTHER “HOW CAN I FIND THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR ME?” SHE WOULD ANSWER “DON’T WORRY ABOUT FINDING THE RIGHT WOMAN, CONCENTRATE ON BECOMING THE RIGHT MAN”.
- I COULD HAVE BEEN IN A SORORITY BUT THEY WOULDN’T LET ME JOIN BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD A PERSONALITY OF MY OWN.
- WHAT DO MEN WANT? THEY WANT A MATTRESS THAT CAN COOK.
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