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- SHE WAS SO WILD THAT WHEN SHE MADE FRENCH TOAST SHE GOT HER TONGUE CAUGHT IN THE TOASTER. (Rodney Dangerfield)
- FILING INCOME TAX RETURNS HAS MADE MORE AMERICANS LIARS THAN GOLF. (Will Rogers)
- EVERY MORNING I LOOK AT FORBES LIST OF THE RICHEST AMERICANS. IF I’M NOT THERE, I GO TO WORK. (Robert Obren)
- I WILL NOT EAT OYSTERS, I WANT MY FOOD DEAD–NOT SICK, NOT WOUNDED–DEAD. (Woody Allen)
- YOU HAVE TO BE AN ANTIQUE TO APPRECIATE ONE. (Fay Lange)
- A GENTLEMAN IS A MAN WHO CAN PLAY AN ACCORDION BUT DOESN’T. (Unknown)
- OLD AGE IS LIKE FLYING THROUGH A STORM. ONCE YOU’RE ON BOARD THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. (Golda Meir)
- PART OF THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IS EATING WHATEVER YOU LIKE AND LET THE FOOD FIGHT IT OUT INSIDE. (Mark Twain)
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